


by the light of the stars

by superwholocked_wizard



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: :), Finn has PTSD, Gay, Like, Stamina, Star Wars - Freeform, Stormpilot, damn my boi Finn can run, don't even worry about it, he gets triggered, its hella gay my dudes, like only a couple, like tons of it, sexual inuendo's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 10:16:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10534422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superwholocked_wizard/pseuds/superwholocked_wizard
Summary: Poe and Finn decide to get together for a dinner one night, and Finn helps with cooking and setting a table, and a plate smashes.Finn has PTSD and can't exactly deal with it





	

**Author's Note:**

> hello all, 
> 
> another gay one yay! stormpilot this time not stanfou
> 
> (even though i could write about stanfou all day like YASSSS)
> 
> anyway back to this, read and enjoy!
> 
> sophie xx

The quarters for the pilots in the resistance were surprisingly comfortable, considering their living space seemed to be far more compact than the bunks in the first order, yet still Poe seemed to have everything in his small room, even a makeshift kitchen for when he ‘just wasn’t bothered to talk to people.’ so when he invited Finn around for a sort of, dinner, he of course accepted and jumped along the halls, arriving a full hour early just to help with the preparations.

Poe didn’t mind this, in fact he loved watching Finn ramble about one thing or another as he kneaded dough, maybe it was the kneading of the dough, but he still loved to listen as well.

At the moment he was talking about Rey’s training, and about how she seemed to be advancing well with her sparring, but was still struggling with the hole ‘controlling her emotions’ thing.

“She’s just someone who’s naturally passionate, like, if she wants to cry she’ll cry, if she wants to laugh she’ll laugh, and now she’s gotta bottle all that up its kind of resurfacing even more than usual,” He continued, still turning the dough over in his hands as he spoke. He had no idea what they were making, but he sure was having fun making it, as Poe didn’t seem to mind him talking, and he seemed to think Finn was doing a good job because he hadn’t told him to stop with the kneading yet.

By the time that Poe asked Finn to stop with the dough, all of the other ingredients had been prepared and all they needed to do was lay it on top.

Poe carefully got the mixture and placed it evenly across the assortment of vegetables and meat, before going to put it in the oven.

Whilst they were waiting for it to cook, they began to set the table, placing two sets of knives and forks, two sets of glasses and two sets of napkins. As Poe handed over a plate, Finn felt it slip slightly, and tried to adjust his grip, yet the plate slipped through his fingers and fell to the floor, smashing into hundreds of pieces as it connected with the concrete ground.

Finn froze.

His blood began to rush in his ears, he felt his heart began to pound in his chest and his breathing became beyond erratic, adrenaline pumping through his system urging him to run.

“Finn?” he heard someone say his name, not his original one, but the one he had come to associate with so many good memories, yet still he felt himself tense up.

“Finn are you alright?” The person inquired again, he had closed his eyes now and was desperately trying to stand still. If he moved, he would be punished twice as severely for lack of obedience, he knew, he had faced it all before.

He felt a warmth accompanied with pressure oh his arm, and as it began to move to his arm, it sparked his need to move, and with that he pushed passed the person in front of him and began running through the halls of the resistance base.

He kept hearing someone calling his name, a couple of someone’s, one male and the other female, yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop or turn around, and eventually, they just faded into the distance as he found himself running across the tarmac, past the perimeter fence and into an open field of wild flowers and grass.

—

Poe had never seen anyone run so fast.

Even his peers had never been able to beat Poe in a race, all of them falling behind in one way or another, yet he couldn’t seem to catch up to Finn.

He was fast, and he could maintain that speed for longer than anyone he had ever seen making it impossible for anyone, even Rey whose training was twice as greuling as anything anyone in the resistance could bear, yet she fell behind eventually, falling short of breath and stamina to catch up to him.

“Force, he’s fast,” She breathed out, her hands on her knees and panting like a rabid dog who hadn’t had water for sols.

“Why exactly was he running?” she enquired.

“He broke a plate,” Poe replied, craning his neck to see if he could spot the brown of the resistance jacket which Finn always seemed to sport, yet he was nowhere in sight.

Rey looked up at him with an almost knowing look, as if ‘broke a plate’ was some sort of secret code between the two, or something that they had planned.

“Did he freeze up by any chance, look tense, breath heavily and close his eyes like he didn’t want to see what was coming?” Poe stared at her, mouth gaping.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said, shaking her head.

“Why is breaking a plate such a big deal?” he asked, getting more confused by the second.

Rey sighed sadly.

“It’s not the fact that he broke it, its that he’s associated it with punishment. If i broke a valuable object, he’d have his thugs come and beat me in the middle of the night as i slept, i still get scared when i hear something smash,” she explained, finally having caught her breath.

“So he thought i’d hit him?” Poe said hopelessly.

“No, no way, he’s just been hit so many times that he associates the smashing with the hitting, like, the noise, not a specific person.”

—

By the time Poe found Finn, the sun had already set, and only the stars were left to illuminate the rings surrounding the planet, leaving an almost ghostly vision of three almost there strips, and a small section where the stars did not shine.

The nearest galaxy shone with inspiring brilliance, each star trying to outdo the other, with every twinkle and every movement, they called to the sleeping and spoke to the woken, shimmering in an almost magical way, Poe could definitely understand why people chose night over day, with a sight like this.

He had made his way through an overgrowth, following the worn path which lead to a less wild area of field, one where many people often went to for relaxation, such as picnics, in fact not too far away there was even a stream where they sometimes went if practise was particularly grueling, or the days got too hot.

He found Finn leaning against a sapling, which only barely covered the sky, which had grown just outside the border of the thick forest behind them. He seemed to be almost asleep, yet when Poe looked a little closer, he saw Finn's’ hands fiddling with a small piece of cloth, twisting and turning it, knotting and unknotting it, each edge fraying a bit more as he tugged on it again.

He sat down next to Finn, leaning against the small tree and letting his eyes close gently.

The moment was filled with silence, save for the chirping of the odd insect, or the periodic gurgling of the stream, just a few meters behind them.

“I’m sorry.”

Poe jumped at the interruption of the silence, before looking towards the source of the noise, to see Finn, still sat in the same position, yet with his eyes open.

He took in a deep breath and gazed at the stars, so close yet so far away, forever out of reach.

“I’m sorry for breaking the plate, i’m sorry for freaking out and running, i should have stayed and helped you clean it up,” He whispered, still not daring to look into Poe’s eyes as he apologized.

Poe scooched over, and eventually came shoulder to shoulder with Finn, whilst still gazing at him.

“You don’t have to,” he began,

“I know, but I feel like i need to. I always mess up one way or another, wether its me freaking out, or that I can’t even sleep most nights-”

“Hey,” Poe cut him off, noticing how Finn’s breathing seemed to increase and he started to panic yet again.

“I get it, i get the nightmares, i get the freaking out, everytime i hear a door swoosh open i loose my goddamned mind, but that’s the thing, i’ve told people, i’ve talked to others, i mean even Rey gets like this sometimes, caus’ we’re not exactly whole, but we’re not too badly broken either,” he felt Finn start to relax, his head ever so slightly falling onto his shoulders,

“we gotta deal with it unfortunately, but dealing with it doesn’t mean bottling up, that’s where the Jedi are getting it wrong, caus crying doesn’t make you weak, it just means that you’ve been strong for too long.”

Finn sighed, Poe would have said that it was almost content, yet in that moment he knew how Finn was feeling, and whilst not exactly content, it was good enough for now.


End file.
